A guide to catching thieves
by StarkIronFTW
Summary: Teenage!Tony and his friends, the avengers, go to Stark Expo. They are being supervised by Jarvis. They are sleeping in tents and they play Truth or Dare. But once one of the camping guard warns them for thieves, it turns out some people are just danger magnets. With: Tony, Steve, Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Fury, Pepper, Jarvis, Thor, Loki, Thanos, Coulson, Howard. Based on real life.


**Important!:**

 **This is a story about something that really happened. Most of the chapters will be pure fiction, but the core part of the story (the catching thieves part) is something that really happened to me. I just placed the story in this AU. It is 1982. Tony is friends with the teenage avengers. They don't have any superpowers. And they do have kind of compact mobile phones (let's just say it's a Stark invention).**

* * *

 **A Guide to catching thieves.**

 **The day before.**

"Who is exited?!" Tony shouted loudly.

"I am exited Tony, but can you stop shouting? I am trying to read a book." Bruce told his best friend, who sat next to him in the big familyvan.

"I am exited." Clint told Tony. "But at the moment I am mostly bored. Hey, Natasha," he adressed the girl, who sat next to him reading some Russian Modelmagazine.

"Not now Clint." She replied before he could finish what he was asking.

"But Natashaaaa..." Clint whined annoyingly.

"I wished I sat next to Pepper." Natasha murmered under her breath. "You quit now or you won't get any kids later." She told Clint threatingly.

"Could you please refrain from making threats, miss?" Jarvis, who drove the van, told the teenager.

"I am sure she can do that, mister Jarvis." Steve, who sat next to Natasha replied quickly, while shooting Clint a angry glare. Clint just stared through the window and started whistling Don't worry be happy.

Pepper, who sat in front of Clint and next to Tony, immediatly grabbed her walkman and sighed happily when she played her own song. The other passagers weren't so lucky, so all of them just tried to ignore Clint or placed their hands over their ears.

"What is this thing you are doing, Clinton?" Thor, a big blonde teenager who sat in the back, asked his friend. "Teach me."

"Mister Jarvis, are we almost there? I am getting squashed here!" Rhodey, who sat next to Thor, quickly asked his best friends butler, before Clint was able to reply to Thor's question.

This question luckily made Clint stop whistling, because he was interested in the butler's reply. The other passengers sighed relieved and all of the kids were quiet to hear the mans reply.

"We have almost arrived at the destignation, mister Rhodes". Jarvis replied, as he steered the car towards the entrance of the annual Stark Expo. Young sir had invited his friends over to join him at the event. The Expo lasted multiple days, and the kids were going to sleep in tents on a pre-hired campingplace on a big field. Jarvis was their supervisor. He almost started to doubt this desicion, but then he remembered what had occured a few days earlier.

* * *

 ***Flashback.***

"No Tony." Howard answered his twelve year old son. "You need to grow up, and there is no usefullness in playing with your stupid friends. You don't need them anyway, they only want your money anyway." Howard said as he turned the next page of his paper.

"And I want you at the Expo. You need to give a speech. Go prepare that and stop bothering me."

Jarvis, who had just set coffee, put a cup down on the table next to his boss.

"But dad, this is the only time we can be able to meet. With everyone! I am sorry it is at the same weekend as the expo, but please dad." Tony looked at his father, who wouldn't even look at him.

"I said no, are you deaf Tony?" His dad replied irritated.

"Excuse me for interveining sir, but I believe I have an idea that suits both of you." Jarvis said. He just couldn't take Tony's sad look anymore. The boy had to grow up much to quick and almost never had any fun.

"What if Young Sir invites his friends to the expo? Then he can come to the expo and give his speech, and his friends will learn about all of the great things StarkIndustries achieves. I can supervise them and keep them out of your way the entire weekend by camping at one of the fields."

Tony looked surprised at him with his big brown eyes.

"Hmpf. Okay Jarvis, but only because you never ask for anything special. But you keep them out of my way. And you make sure Tony gives a great speech. Now, leave, both of you, I have a headace." Howard gestured faguely at the door before grabbing his coffee.

Tony and Jarvis walked out of the door, the first with his mouth wide open in disbelieve. Jarvis closed the door behind them. "You should close your mouth, Young Sir. It isn't a very elegant look."

Tony snapped his mouth shot and looked up at his butler. The boy was twelve, but still very small for his age. He was about 140 cm, while Jarvis was 195 cm.

"You- you-..." Tony stuttered, looking kind of shy. Then he cleared his throat and looked his butler straight in the eyes.

"Thank you, Jarvis." He said sincerely, as he hugged his butler.

"It is fine, Young Sir. You deserve it." Jarvis said fondly as he hugged the small boy back.

 ***End of flashback***

* * *

"Come and get your bagage, misters and misses." Jarvis said as he opened the trunk.

He handed the 13-year-old Natasha her red backpack and black suitcase.

Thirteen year old Bruce had a Green suitcase and a brown docter's bag.

12-year-old Pepper, Young Sir's secret girlfriend, already had her black backpack with pink horizontal stripes, containing her walkman, so Jarvis only had to hand her her bright pink suitcase with wheels.

"Don't we need camping gear, mister Jarvis?" 14-year-old Steve, who was the onofficial leader of their group of friends asked.

"No mister Rogers, everything we need is already at our field. We don't even need to but the tents up ourselfs." Jarvis answered the boy as he handed him a red-white-blue weekendbag and old brown suitcase.

Jarvis then handed fourteen year old Clint his black and purple quiver and a black weekend bag.

Thirteen year old Rhodey had a black backpack and a grey and red rollingbag.

"Thank you, mister of Jarvis." Fourteen year old Thor boomed as he got his gold colored weekend bag and red backpack handed over.

Then Jarvis handed Young Sir his enormous red and gold backpack and a black suitcase containing some mechanical parts.

Jarvis himself grabbed his own black suitcase and a brown suitcase filled with items for Tony's speech before closing the van's trunk.

"Let's go!" Tony shouted exited while leading the other kids, who followed him towards the entrance.

"How many tickets?" The man at the desk asked bored, not seeing who stood in front of him.

"I beg you pardon?!" Tony said outraged. "Who do you think you are! I can fire you here and now!"

The man behind the desk shot up in his chair when he realised who stood in front of him.

"I am so sorry mister Stark! Please, walk through."

The other kids just shook their heads as they walked after Tony. Jarvis shot the gate keeper an apologetic look before following the young heir.

* * *

"Here we are!" Tony announced as he dropped his bags in the grass. They were standing at a field which contained a fireplace, three tents and a caravan. Their field was about 15m long and 15 meter wide.

The other kids looked at the expensive tents with wide eyes.

"Is... Is this normal?" Bruce asked, eying the expensive camping gear.

"Oh... no." Tony answered misinterpreting the question tone for a accusing one.

"Every tent already contains a waterbed with a sleeping back with a built-in heater, invented by myself. I normally sleep with my parents in a hotel in a nearby city, but I heard some visitors talk to eachother how cold it can be in the evenings, so I also made sure we had a fireplace. The caravan even contains a fridge and-"

"No, no. Tony. It is great. Please. It is awesome. Thank you for inviting us." Bruce cut the rambling genius off.

"Who sleeps where, Starkson?" Thor boomed with a voice way to loud and deep for a 14-year-old.

"Ehhh. Jarvis?" Tony looked at his butler, who sighed and started to explain.

"Mister Odinson, mister Barton and mister Banner sleep in the green tent all the way to the right, miss Romanoff and miss Potts sleep in the red tent, inbetween the green one and the caravan. I sleep in the caravan, and mister Rogers, mister Rhodes and Young Sir sleep in the dark blue tent all the way to the left. You can now claim your sleepingbags and unpack your bags. I will meet you at the fireplace in fifteen minutes."

All the kids nodded and dragged their bags towards their tents.

* * *

"I claim this one!" Tony shouted as he dropped himself on his sleeping bag.

"Calm down Stark." Steve said disapprovingly as he put his bags down next to the sleeping bag to the left of Tony's.

"You can be a little more thankful for getting invited, Rogers." Tony replied as he bounced up and down on the big waterbed, which filled almost the entire tent.

"Stop bouncing Tony! I'm trying to unpack my bags here!" Rhodey told the twelve-year-old. The other boys were moving up and down as well, because the sleeping bags lay on top of the waterbed.

"Awhhh. You two are no fun!" Tony whined as he stopped bouncing and dragged his bags towards him. He then turned his big red and gold backpack upside down on top of his sleeping bag.

"Tony!" Steve shouted irritated, shoving some of Tony's clothes that ended up on top of his sleeping bag to the side.

"Mmmh?" Tony asked, while chewing on some blueberry chewing gum he found between the mess on top of his sleeping bag.

"Some gum?" He asked, offering Steve the package.

"No!" He agrily swatted the package away. "Can you just... for one moment in your life act like a serious person or something! You act like a toddler or something! Grow up!"

Steve angrily walked out of the tent and didn't see the hurt look on Tony's face.

"I am sure he didn't mean it like that, Tones." Rhodey tried to comfort his close to crying friend.

"No. He meant exactly what he said. And he is right. I should be more serious. I should grow up, like my father always tells me." Tony turned his back to his best friend and started organizing his clothes.

"Can you leave me alone for a second? I mean, you're already done so it shouldn't be that big of a problem right?"

"Are you sure-" Rhodey hesitated.

"Yes Platypus," Tony turned back around and looked at his friend with a serious mask on his face.

"I'm fine. I just need some alone time."

"Well. If you insist." Rhodey gave his friend a little encouraging hit on the shoulder and then also left the tent.

* * *

"It's nice you are all on time." Jarvis looked at the faces of the kids who where seated around the campfire.

Right next to him young Sir sat with a serious look on his face, staring into the fire.

Next to him was Rhodey, who was, for some reason, looking kind of angry at Steve.

Next to Rhodey was Bruce, who was reading some doctors magazine.

Next to Bruce Clint was sharpening an arrow with a knife he got from Natasha, who sat next to him.

Pepper, who sat next to her, was just saying something into her ear and the two gave eachother a knowing smirk.

Thor, who sat next to Pepper, was looking intrigued at the fire, and Steve, who sat next to Thor, was drawing something.

"I assume, that this is your first Expo, well except for young Sir. There are some basic rules I want you to obey. No bothering the other visitors," he looked at Tony, who at least managed to look kind of guilty.

"No threats." Jarvis looked at Natasha, who just nodded.

"Girls are not allowed in the boy's tents and vice versa. No just walking off without telling me where you are going. No leaving of the Expo. No pranking." He looked warningly at Pepper and Natasha, who looked back with disappointed looks at their face.

"We eat together every morning at 8 and every evening at 7, unless we made other agreements. Here is a map, a list with the workshops and other information." Jarvis handed the kids the brochures.

"There aren't any workshops on the first day, so you would have to enjoy yourselfs before dinner, which will be at seven. And no, young Sir," he looked warningly at Tony, "No buying food from one of the many foodstands at the first day."

* * *

"Well, what are we going to do, friends?" Thor asked as soon as Jarvis walked into the caravan to prepare for dinner.

"We have about an hour." Natasha added.

"We can play truth or dare?" Tony suggested.

"Fine. Who starts?" Clint asked.

"I'll start." Rhodey said.

"Okay. Pepper, truth or dare?"

"Well, lets try dare out first." She answered.

"Okay. I dare you to kiss Tony." Rhodey grinned.

Pepper blushed slightly, but stood up anyway and walked towards the dark haired boy. The older kids watched half-disgusted, half-intrigued as she cupped Tony's head in her hands and kissed him passionately.

"Okay! Okay! That's enough!" Rhodey said, as he shielded his eyes with his hands.

Pepper moved back and Bruce moved to the left so she could sit next to Tony.

"Clint, truth or dare?" She asked the boy, who still had a slightly disgusted look on his face.

"After seeing that?! Truth please!"

"Okay..." Pepper said with an evil smile on her face.

"Do you like Natasha? As in romantic."

"How dare you!" Clint murmered under his breath.

"No, truth!" Tony joked.

"Okay. Yes I do." Everyone looked at Natasha, who had a pokerface.

"We'll talk about this later, Clint." She said, with a deadly calm voice.

"Well, thank you, Pepper. You just wrote my deathsentence."

"Quit whining and ask your question." Natasha told him.

"Okay. Erhm. Thor, truth or dare?"

"I will choose dare, for I am a brave man." Thor boomed, puffing his chest up.

"I dare you to run to the end of the entire field, so not only ours, and back, without your shirt on."

"I will accept your dare, Clinton!" Thor pulled his shirt over his head and immediatly started running.

"Well, he has a nice body!" Pepper said as she stared at the obvious sixpack.

"Hey!" Tony exclaimed. "I am sitting right here!"

"Yes, and I love you." Pepper gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Have I completed this dare?" Thor asked as he sat back down.

"Yes Thor. Now put your shirt back on before mister Jarvis sees you like this." Tony told his friend.

"Fine. Banner, do you chose truth or dare?"

"Truth, please." Bruce answered, as he cleaned his glasses with his shirt.

"When is the last time you told someone a lie?"

"Well, that has to be today. I told my father I was going to the Stark house instead of the Expo, because he would have never allowed me to go." Bruce replied truthfully.

"Okay. You told the truth. It is your turn."

Bruce nodded. "Alright, Steve. Truth or dare?"

"Truth, please."

"Why did you come to the Expo? Why did you accept Tony's invite? I thought you and Tony hated eachother?" Bruce asked bluntly.

"Eh. Well..." Steve stuttered. "You guys are here, and... Tony is still my friend, even if we have some misunderstandings sometimes. I still like him..."

A small smile crept on Tony's face, but disappeared just as quickly.

"Okay. Eh. Natasha, truth or dare?" Steve asked quickly to end the kind of akward silence that had fallen.

"Dare."

"I dare you to only speak Russian for the rest of the evening." Steve challenged her.

"принятый". She answered (accepted).

"Well. I think that's Russian. Isn't it?" Steve asked, to no one in particular.

"Tony, правда либо вызов?" She asked with a grin, assuming he wouldn't understand a word she said (Tony, truth or dare).

"вызов." Tony replied without hesitation, grinning at the flabbergasted faces of his friends (dare).

"Since when do you speak Russian?!" Clint asked the question they all wanted the answer to.

"Well, my father sometimes takes me to StarkIndustries meetings and presentations outside the country. And sometimes I have to give some sort of speech myself. And it would be good for our image if I could do it in the native speech. So my father ordered me to learn other languages. Right now I can speak Russian and Mandarin Chinese, but I'm learning more." Tony explained.

"Isn't that, like, I don't know, difficult?" Bruce asked his fellow sciencebro.

"Nah, not really. Genius, remember? It mostly keeps the brain occupied." Tony shrugged.

"Can I get my dare now?" He asked Natasha.

"Я вызов вы по спать с Steve на один спальный мешок." Natasha said, finally regaining her normal cool composure. (I dare you to sleep with Steve in one sleeping bag.)

"Fine. But I need Pepper's permission for that." Tony said with a grin.

"What did she say?" Pepper asked, curious.

"I need to sleep tonight..." Tony answered. "With Rogers, in one sleeping bag."

"What?!" Steve's voice broke. "Why?!"

The other kids all cracked up after hearing Steve's high voice.

"полностью, потому что вы нравиться его." Natasha grinned evilly.

"Well, because you like him." Tony translated, after he managed to calm down.

"Why?!" Steve groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"You have permission, by the way." Pepper kissed Tony on the cheek and they both grinned.

* * *

"Time to eat." Jarvis announced.

He put the pan with food on top of the big white plastic campingtable. The friends stood up from the fire and sat down on the white plastic chairs that surrounded the table.

"We are eating sausages with black beans." Jarvis served the kids and they started eating.

Tony and Natasha, who sat next to eathother, had a conversation in what Jarvis suspected was Russian.

Clint and Thor were talking about some workout methodes and Steve was telling Bruce about what his mom always cooked on his birthday.

Pepper and Rhodey were discussing about which tent had a better color, the red or the blue one.

After dinner, Jarvis ordered the kids to prepare themselfs, and Tony lead the kids to one of the mobile bathrooms where they could brush their teeth and do other "stuff".

"Goodnight mister Jarvis!" And it finally became quiet.

"How am I supposed to do this for the entire weekend?" Jarvis asked himself as he walked towards the mobile bathroom as well.

* * *

"Do we, like, really need to do this."

"Yes. It's a dare. I'm sorry." Tony replied, not looking sorry at all.

"Get over it, Steve. It's only one night. And I want to sleep." Rhodey told the blonde.

"You can choose Steve, yours or mine?" Tony asked Steve.

"Mine." Steve sighed. "At least Rhodey will have more space that way."

Steve opened his sleeping bag and Tony pushed himself inside.

"So, kind of crowded here."

"Lay still! Ow! Tony, your knee is in my stomach!"

"Sorry Steve, but I need to get in here somehow."

"Be quiet, you two! I want to sleep!"

"Well, you don't have a pointy knee in your stomach! Tony, listen. If you don't turn your back to me, we have more space."

"Ah, great idea Rogers. Always the tactican!"

"Shut up Stark. Now, you kind of need to put your legs straight down next to me and keep your arms in front of yourself- or you could just intertwine them with mine, of course. That gives us both more space. Man, it is hot in here, and no, not that way!" Steve looked Tony threatingly in the eyes. Well, depends on how threatingly it is to look someone who is in the same sleeping bag as you.

"Relax Stevie, you can turn the temperature down."

"Shut up you two! I'm trying to sleep over here!"

"I'm trying the same over here." Steve murmered.

After some wriggling Tony and Steve finally were somewhat comfortable.

"Well, at least your so small." Steve said.

"Hey! You were about this size at my age as well! I can't help I haven't had that kind of growth yet!" Tony protested.

"Shut up!" Rhodey murmered.

"Okay, goodnight guys!" Tony said cheerfully.

"Night."

"Goodnight Tony, Rhodey."


End file.
